One Saturday morning I was
driving to a cemetery to look for yet more graves when I decided to find
Salford Lads Club which became famous for becoming an iconic inner-cover for
The Smiths album The Queen Is Dead. Though they were only a group for
four years they have a strong following. On the album cover they’re stood below
the “Salford Lads Club” sign (surprised it hasn’t been nicked.)
I put the postcode in the Sat-Nav and it said
the destination wasn’t reachable by car. I’m sure there isn’t a helicopter pad
there so I set off anyway. Salford hasn’t shrugged off its reputation of being
a little threadbare no matter how many shiny flats they erect on the quays. The
discarded mattress and washing machine abandoned on the estate here in Orsdall didn’t help.
I pulled up outside the club and had coffee from the flask. There were
some young lads on electric scooters doing some heavy-revving and jumps up a
slanted kerb, also a shop which had probably received a few nasty nocturnal
callers with baseballs bats. Salford Lads Club is one of those red-bricked
Victorian piles funded by rich local philanthropists to keep youngsters “off
the streets”. They offered pursuits
beyond the small crumbs of chess and draughts like boxing, weight-lifting,
table tennis, snooker, gymnastics. This one was opened by Robert Baden-Powell
three years before he founded the Scout Movement and former members were
footballers, also Alan Clarke and Graham Nash who formed music groups The
Hollies and Crosby, Stills and Nash. The Hollies practised here before they
found success and fame.
It didn’t look like it was open or used. The main door was closed but
when I got out and took a few photos I saw there was a door off to the side which
was open. I’d left the Sat-Nav on the dashboard of
the car and thought quickly I’d take a few more photos then shoot off to the
cemetery. As I stood saluting on the steps waiting for the camera’s timer a
grey-haired man appeared at the door.
“Are you coming in then?” he
asked.
Feeling a bit daft I said,
“Sorry, I didn’t think the building was used now. I’m not from round here.
There’s a famous Smith’s album cover showing this entrance and I was...”
“Tell me about it,” he said,
not needing to hear anymore, “We’ve had 45 Chinese people in this morning
already. Come in.”
This place is still used as a
club but the man lead me down a tiled corridor and a large hall to “The Smiths”
room. Blimey, this was a surprise. Every surface including the ceiling was
splattered and pasted with Smiths fodder - photos, letters, newspaper/magazine
articles, drawings, cards, etc. The man lead me around showing me specific
things like rare photos and autographs. There was a bang in a kitchen down the
corridor and he said he’d have to go so I had the place to myself. I took about
30 photos and a few are here.
People had visited from all the world and when the man returned he said
the club was the most visited musical Mecca after The Cavern Club in Liverpool
and Abbey Road Studios. A gallery of famous faces had visited and were now on
the wall and the man said a woman from Japan had almost fainted when she
entered the room. There’s a website selling Salford Lads Club-related tat
(which was spread out on a table in another room) but I wanted to know about
Morrissey. I asked the man if he was as inscrutable and inaccessible as his
reputation suggested but he said the singer had never put one foot in the
place. Bummer! I was hoping that wasn’t the answer. Oh well. A poor
consultation was a handwritten postcard pinned to the wall from Morrissey. He
knew all about the place and the number of visitors it drew and even though
he’d returned to do a brief photo-shoot he still hadn’t stepped inside.
I walked up and down the corridors observing the boldness of Victoriana
builders - shiny tiles, chunky radiators, patterned metal, ornate coving. Some
rooms housed table tennis tables, crash mats, gymnastics equipment. There was a
café which would get more visitors if sad geek visitors like me knew they could
enter freely. Outside a wide-eyed lad sat on the pavement gazing at the
building and when I spoke to him he answered in a foreign accent. He was as
surprised as I had been as I led him down to “The Smiths” room and I left him
in bewildered silence as he eyes fixed on the walls.
I came outside again and had a chocolate roll and another coffee. One
side of the club ran alongside Coronation Street. I wasn’t sure real ones
existed anymore. Some scenes had been filmed here - Shameless, The Forsyte Saga, a BBC drama Conviction. The actor
Albert Finney had been born nearby in Pendleton and had been a member of the club
though I doubt he’d visited for a long time. He’s probably gone to London where
an old club like this would have been converted into a Starbucks squeezed
beneath glossy apartments. Thankfully some places up North are so rundown they haven’t
invited the pulverising wrecking ball and We-Build-Housing-Estates-Where-Ever
House-Looks-The-Same developers.
The real Coronation Street…
About to enter
The Smiths Room…
A postcard from
Morrissey…
I sat in the car
and had a sandwich with some bacon crisps chosen especially as they’re by The
Smith company…