Guy
Fawkes (13th April 1570? to 31st January 1606)
I grew up thinking Guy Fawkes was hung, drawn and quartered
and must have been in my late-thirties before I read a book about him and found
this was true – but he was dead at the time. For years I used to lie in bed
imaging him on a scaffold before booing crowds. First he’d be hung from the
gallows but the hangman would set the rope so his victim remained conscious.
Guy’s testicles would be hacked off with an axe then his belly would be cut
open and the guts pulled out before his eyes. Four waiting horses would be
summoned, ropes tied around Guy’s wrists and ankles. The horses would be
whipped hard into a sprint and Guy’s body would be ripped into quarters.
This was the
traditional treatment for traitors in 17th-century England but Guy must have
foreseen this and planned to avoid a witnessing the grisly final few minutes.
While climbing the ladder to the waiting noose he jumped off - head down - to
ensure he broke his neck instantly. The kings men continued to hang, rip and
quarter Guy’s body but it must have been an anti-climax for crown and crowd. On
order of the King (who was watching from a secret location) Guy’s remains were
sent to "the four corners of the kingdom" as a warning to others but
he must have been wincing with the disappoint Guy had won an instant death.
On a weekend
down in London I walked up the Thames and had fifteen minutes at the exact
place where executions occurred. Old Palace Yard and is expanse of grass about
the size of three tennis courts across the road from the majestic Houses Of
Parliament. I could not find any plaque relating to Guy Fawkes or the Gunpowder
Plot – only an imposing stature of King George V.
I walked
around wondering if I’d trod on the spot where Guy’s head hit earth. Tourists
were taking photos of the stature but I’m sure they’d prefer to know this was
the spot where the perpetrators of the Gunpowder Plot who tried to blow up the
Houses Of Parliament suffered horrid deaths.
When you stand
in Old Palace Yard the honeyed brown facades of House Of Parliament race up to
block out some the sky. This small yard was specifically chosen to execute the
conspirators in order to rub in their face their abject failure.
Guy Fawkes is
famous now but there were 13 conspirators and Robert Catesby was the
charismatic Catholic figure who masterminded the plot. Guy became the famous
one as he was the given the mission to sneak into the cellar beneath the House
of Lords and ignite the explosives (surely suicidal?) He was caught red-handed
with 36 barrels of gunpowder on 5th November 1605.
Though King
James I sentenced the baddies to death he bore some respect for Guy. Guy
suffered two full days of sickening torture before he confessed to plotting to
blow up Parliament. When asked why excess gunpowder had been hidden in the
cellars he spat, “to blow you Scotch beggars back to your native mountains”.
The tradition
of burning a Guy Fawkes effigy on 5th November seems to be
disappearing. When I was a boy you’d see these effigies lying outside shop
doors with kids hooped round them and people accessing the shop would ask for
“a penny for the Guy.” I remember one year me and some chums made a Guy and
hawked it round in a pram from door to door and accummulated£4.90 in total -
that was about 60 pence each when divided up - we were quite rich.
His name won’t
die out as there’s a Guy Fawks island in the Galapagos
Islands. He liked to be called 'Guido' to sound more continental and more
serious about his Catholic faith. When forced to sign a confession to his role
in the Gunpowder Plot he signed it ‘Guido Fawkes’ (wonder how much it’s worth
now? William Shakespeare’s signatures sell for over £1 million and there’re
only six.)
The Houses of
Parliament are still searched once a year even now. Before the annual State
Opening of Parliament the Yeomen of the Guard still search the cellars. Sadly
the cellar that Fawkes was caught in was destroyed in a fire in 1834.)
I sat on a
bench in the sun for a moment and wondered what would have been built to
replace the Houses Of Parliament had it been blown up. Robert Catesby’s plan
was to annihilate England’s entire Protestant government, especially King James
I and his cronies who were due to attend Parliament on 5th November.
What would Westminster have looked like four hundred years ago - could you see
a few fields in the distance? Could you see a pig farm on a distance hill? The
Houses Of Parliament would have looked different. Kings lived there from the
eleventh century then Parliament started meeting there to run the kingdom in
line with the King’s wishes. In the fifteen century the royalty moved out and
Parliament only met there. A fire swept through the building and it was rebuilt
in 1834. Four hundred years ago London was referred to as “The Smoke” as it was
under a constant smelly smog, you could smell it from 30 miles away and
thousands of over-worked dead horses were shoved into The Thames.
We’ll never
really know for sure but the 36 barrels of gunpowder (weighing about two tons)
had decayed with age and would have probably burnt the HOP down but not blasted
it onto the moon.
I didn’t even
bother taking a specific photograph of the statue of King George V; I’m sure
the tourists and yard would be better served with a big bronze stature enacting
the execution of the conspirators. I’m guessing the statue marks the spot where
the executions were carried out. These gruesome hangings began on 30th
January 1606. On 31st January Guy was called to meet his fate.
Before him three plotters were dragged from the Tower on wattled
hurdles to the Old Palace Yard were hanged and quartered.
Guy was the
last one called to the scaffold. He was weakened by torture and the hang man
had to help him on the ladder leading up to the waiting noose. The scaffold
would have been high up so the baying crowds got an unobstructed view. Royalty
watched from windows. The gallows must have been high enough for Guy to turn
and dive off head first to ensure an instant death (feet first would probably
break legs, pelvis and spine.)
At the time he
died he was 35 years old, a decent age for the time; 25% of people died before
five years old and 40% died before adulthood.
I remember
looking at a website about dead porn stars and there was one called Gay Fuwkes (dead by age 26 from AIDS – didn’t even live as long
as his namesake.) He obviously put his bails in the groove of the wrong wicket.
Pointing to
the approximate place where the gallows were…
The scaffold
would have looked like this…
He wanted this
to burn…
