First Date Nerves Dressed In Curves


A few years ago I worked at company with its own small car park. Next door was St Christopher House, a big tall office block with reserved parking spaces (people would often get clamped for £50.) One dinner time I was sat on the wall getting some sun when a car pulled into the car park. A nervous, breathy woman wound down the window and said she was desperate to park somewhere as she had an interview for a new job and it started in five minutes time. I assumed she was going for an interview in the big office block. I said yes just park where you want.


She parked the car, got out and put her handbag on the roof while she swapped from flat to high heels. Her figure-hugging “love-me-for my-brains” dress leant itself more to a brothel or nightclub than an office but I supposed you had to use what advantages you had to get a job.


She started walking away from the office block which was a bit odd. I shouted, “You’ve forgotten your hand bag.” She took it off the roof and, nervous and flustered, said she was a nervous wreck as she had to be in The Flying Dutchman pub in about sixty seconds. I asked if she was being interviewed to be a barmaid but she said it was for finance job.

   “Well it’s a sort of second interview,” she said, “The boss interviewed me in that office block last week. He must be an alcoholic or something.”

   It all sounded a bit dodgy to me.

   About an hour later I looked out of the office window to see the car was still there. I assume she got the job. Nowadays she’s probably a multi-millionaire, the boss succumbing to cirrhosis of the liver and leaving her the company. I’m sure that curvy frock helped.

   I suppose the above gave me the idea for the painting but who knows how the subconscious works. Last week I had a dream where Madonna had gone bankrupt and was working as an ambulance driver (she kept driving on the wrong side of the road and creating work for herself.) Painting the backs of knees (don’t know the anatomical term) isn’t easy. I must have dabbed in those little shades and wiped them off with a rag about ten times.