Mary
McCartney grave (29th September 1909 to 31st October 1956)
Darkness was
dropping when I arrived at Yew Tree Catholic Cemetery in the West Derby
district of Liverpool. It would be the last grave-hunt before heading home. I’d
visited earlier in the year but left disappointed as I couldn’t find the grave.
I was heading for failure again as I knew there was no headstone to find, only
grass between other graves.
It was
a wonder Paul's parents got together and made him: Mary was a spinsterish 31, a
Catholic and too ambitious to get married and Jim was 38, an agnostic and
confirmed bachelor in a rut. After meeting in an air raid over Liverpool in
1940 they married and had two sons, Paul and then Mike. Sadly Mary would not
see them reach their twenties as she died of breast cancer. Family life was
improving drastically when she was struck down. After living a frugal life the
McCartneys had moved to Forthlin Road in Allerton considered “posh” as it was
in a middle-class area. Mary was a mid-wife and worked long hours but it meant
the lads would always be beautifully dressed and well-provided for. It was
their first house with a toilet inside the house. There was a dining room as
well as a lounge. They even had a telephone though this was installed so the
health authority could contact her in an emergency. It was the only private
telephone on the street and lots of neighbours came round to use it (they only
bought a television for the Coronation of the Queen.) Mary often visited her
customers on a bicycle, riding through the snow at all hours of the day and
night. They couldn’t afford carpets but had runners, fruit was from tins and there
were only wallpaper samples on the wall.
The
first signs of cancer were pains in Mary’s breast. After giving birth to Mike
she’d suffered mastitis from breastfeeding and she thought pain may be that.
Next she thought it was heartburn and then early menopause. In the summer of 1956 her boys aged 14 and 12
went to Boy Scout Camp. It was a particularly cold summer and she was so
worried they might be freezing in their tents she went to check on them with a
friend. They were fine but on the way home Mary wasn’t. She was in so much pain
she lay down on the back seat of the car. A few days later the pain worsened
though she kept it from the boys. Breast cancer was diagnosed and, as though
she knew life was over, Mary cleaned the house from top to bottom and ironed
all the clothes before going into Northern Hospital (since demolished.)
It was
too late. A planned mastectomy didn’t ensue as the cancer had spread. When the
boys visited their mum in hospital Paul saw blood on the sheets and guessed the
truth. She received the last rites from a Catholic priest and asked for a
rosary to be put around her wrist. She slipped into a
coma and died aged 47 on Wednesday 31st October 1956. When Paul and
Mike rose for school their Aunty Joan just said, “Love, your mum’s dead.” They
had never seen their dad cry before nor lived without a well-run home full of
scrumptious smells, warm fingers on their faces, hugs and chatter.
Here I am at Mary’s final resting place which followed the Roman
Catholic funeral she’d requested. I don’t know why there isn’t a headstone. I
almost didn’t find the metal plate someone’s left on the grave. I asked a local
man walking his dog if he knew the cemetery well and he asked, “Are you looking
for the McCartney grave?” and then led me to it. It was dusk and I’ve had to
lighten some of these photographs. Some came out light, some dark and some were
unusable. Could Mary have ever guessed what would become of her eldest lad? It
was after her death Paul found
solace in the guitar his dad had recently bought for him. His brother said,
“'It was just after mother's death that it started. It became an obsession. It
took over his whole life. You lose a mother - and you find a guitar.”
After Mary's death Paul and Mike lived with their uncle and
aunty for two months to let their dad grieve in private. Later on he would
remarry a woman 28 years his junior and move to The Wirral.
Has Paul visited this grave? Have his children been up to see
where their grandma lies? Why is there no headstone. May God rest her soul. I
did a salute and left.
Visit in June 2023
