Iím Pregnant



Iíd recently finished a big painting and wanted to do something small that I could start and finish quickly (this is it.) I also wanted to do a bit of experimenting with a knife. So I drew out a couple hugging nice and quickly slapped in the back colours. Rather than paint in detail I just dabbed of blob of colour here and there with a knife to indicate shade and light. It didnít take long at all.


Recently Iíve been watching the painter John Myatt doing portraits on television and he seems to just flick across the canvas quickly as though stopping to think isnít a good thing.  So I tried not to think about things too much. Myatt is reminds of those golfers who, when taking their first long shot from the tee, hardly think about it. They just wobble their wood a couple of times then whack the ball hard (whereas some seem to take ages.) Just bang it on fast seems to be the rule with a paint knife.


I didnít know what to call it but the woman looks to have a startled look in her eye as though sheís in mild shock. I suggested the ďIím Pregnant!Ē title to a friend who suggested I name it ďIím Having Quads, Big CodsĒ but its not really the kind of thing a woman would say to her man is it - even if heís is packed like a stallion.


On the subject of pregnancy about 20 years ago I went to have a private sitting with a clairvoyant. She asked me if I know someone called Paul. My mind went blank and I said no (even though my brother-in-law was called Paul - duuurrrr - Iíve always called him Noddy.) She said someone called Paul will tell me some news very shortly. I had gone there on my bike and I pedalled home just in time to see my sister and Paul just getting out of their car and walking up the drive. It was a Thursday - they donít visit on Thursdays, I thought.  Once inside we got the coffee on the go ands sat in the front room on the couches. My sister said, ďPaul has got something to tell you.Ē I thought this was odd as Paul is quiet and shy and doesnít say much. He mumbled, ďYouíre going to be an uncle.Ē It was their first. Thatís a bit spooky isnít it Ė Iíd only seen the clairvoyant twenty minutes earlier. Whatís even spookier is how anyone would ever fancy my sister - yuk! You should see the way she sinks a giant bag of pickled onion crisps.