If You Were Here Tonight


When I pick up a canvas or piece of plywood my fingers want to blast (ruin) it with paint, even if it's just putting some complimenting colours together. One night with an hour before sleep I put some 1980's stuff on Youtube. Some Alexander O'Neal songs came on randomly and I'd forgotten he'd done a couple of catchy songs. I was sure I'd read that he lived in Manchester? Surely not - a long-established cool R&B dude born in Mississippi living in cold rain-lashed Manchester? No way. I was sure I'd read somewhere that a cyclist stopped at a red light and Alexander O'Neal suddenly appeared next to him on his bike. It was true. I found an article and the cool dude has lived in Manchester with this wife for quite a while.


I suppose Criticise is probably his biggest hit but I prefer If You Were Here Tonight. I looked for it on the internet and the front cover of his greatest hits album appeared on the screen. I just liked the blend of colours, picked up some paint and a knife and started smearing the same colours on a bit of board. I squinted my eyes and kept looking at the cover and smearing away some more. The result is only fit to flush down a toilet but I enjoyed doing it. Appalling modern abstract art like this sells for silly amounts at Sotheby's so I've entered into the next auction with a minimum sell price of 140,000 (I can send it to you though for 14.88.) It only took an hour but it was a pleasurable hour.


I still can't believe Alexander O'Neal lives in Manchester. Surely he's wealthy enough to live anywhere in the world however I read an interview saying he'd had expensive drug problems for about 30 years.

This dude is far too cool to sweat but he wipes his face a lot in this life version of If you Were Here Tonight. The link if here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOsEaImvOMs






Down in Manchester...