March Violets

I've just read a novel called March Violets by Philip Kerr. He wrote about 40 novels before dying young of bladder cancer. Many are stand-alone novels but his "Bernhard Günther" series are my favourites. Bernhard is a Berlin detective and March Violets is the first of a trilogy. Bernhard is hired by a wealthy industrialist to recover a diamond necklace stolen in robbery from his daughter's house.

As I read it in March and violet is a favourite colour my mind started spinning one night in bed. I thought I'd do a terrible knife painting of some violets the next day (Sunday.) Previously I’d bought a dull painting from a charity shop simply to paint over it and I thought I'd have a go at some doing violets in a vase. Here is the result.

How do you paint violets with a knife? No, I don’t know either but the least you can do is try. If it doesn’t work out you can kick a canvas through (quite satisfying). This one needed kicking through temporarily but I resolved to finish thing and not feel disappointed with myself for giving up. Violets in a vase are tricky to paint. On the internet I gawped at some photographs of them but they’re too dense and detailed to capture easily. Perhaps I should have tried painting big beaming sunflowers which a knife can capture more easily. I scraped in a vase on a table and just daubed in a few purples and some green leaves, slowly building it up (the canvas is now much heavier.) Violet is not a shade easily mixed and a distinct departure from purple derived from mixing red with blue. After some experimentation while listening to Rumpole Of The Bailey radio drama I got something near to violet (not sure I could do it again.) Violets are my second favourite flowers (after foxgloves) but I can't even grow facial hair so there's no point me trying to grow anything. Oh well.

Pipi the cat fell asleep while I finished things off and I don’t blame her. I was getting fed up myself. I must be getting old - don't people in old folks homes paint things in vases? Oh dear, I must try painting a frenzied lesbian licking orgy or spurting volcano next. Anyway I dotted in a few yellows - probably the only time I used a brush - and it was suddenly finished. Nazis used to mock new party converts by calling them “March violets” as they only joined the party after Hitler became Chancellor of Germany in 1933. They weren’t true members of the National Socialist Party as they’d waited to see which way the wind of politics blew before committing themselves.

This painting could happily hide a damp patch on your wall - perhaps some blood stains that eerily return after being wiped away. It’s yours for £12,882 and my neighbour will drive it to your home for FREE. He’ll do anything for me: I called in his house to borrow an egg and accidently found him dressed as a baby lying in a cot. I got a photo of him wearing a huge nappy while sucking a giant dummy. I never knew blackmail could be so rewarding. I'm even in his Will and get the house (his wife's in for a shock.)

What do you think Pipi?

Thanks for the vote of confidence...