Secretive Man Eating Kitkat

I was in central Manchester about to enter the National Football Museum to search for a box containing a footballer's ashes. A poor-looking man ambled up to me and asked if I had any spare food or change. I had everything. Out for the day I was packed for anything however I only offered him a Kitkat. He took it without thanking me, turning on his holey trainers while unwrapping it. He squatted in a nearby doorway to eat it with his back to the world. Did he have green teeth he didn't want the world to see? Or was he crushing the chocolate into dust and snorting it? I'm not sure but I took a photo of him. He'd procured a 30p Kitkat from me but I thought I could get a painting out of him. Here it is done while watching television.

As there was little detail to mess up this one came together quickly. I blasted the canvas with acrylic paint to obliterate that scary white linen then did the next layer using oil paints. The walls were a little bland so I dirtied them a little and added some tufts of grass at the bottom. I cannot imagine anyone would want this on their wall so it will end up in the attic with the others. However if you want to take down that dull, drab, sun-faded print of an orchid and put up this original oddity you can buy this for £4,888. Even Richard Branson hasn't got one of these.