Strawberry Milkshake With Squirty Cream


We were quite poor as kids and it was a treat for me to have a milkshake. Once on a week-long holiday to a Butlins holiday camp I had three. On a day trip to Blackpool I can remember having a pineapple-flavoured one and as the waitress frothed it I thought, “Blimey, this looks good - remember this,” and I did as I can still picture the scene. I remember another holiday when I had two milkshakes in a day and a Cornetto ice-cream every day - we were rich!


We owned a shop and I remember in front of the bacon-slicer we started stocking packets of “Two Shakes”. It was a couch that contained powder to mixed two milkshakes. For about a year there was just strawberry and then banana flavoured came out. I couldn’t quite believe it - we could now have milkshakes when we wanted and needn't go to a cafe. What more can a kid want? We were still rationed to having them on say Saturday nights or birthdays. I remember watching my mum whisking the powder and milk to get a decent frothy head on top of those shakes. Simple pleasures. I can't remember our shop selling cans of squirty cream but my mum must have bought one as I can remember her topping off a milkshake with one. I haven't had a milkshake since 2017 feeling too much of anything makes you immune to its delights.


My favourite is still pineapple flavour followed by strawberry and here is a painting of one. I'd been watching a film featuring Rik Mayall (Dancing Queen filmed mostly in Scarborough.) There's a scene where he's in the Harbour Bar down near the beach with Julia (Helena Bonham Carter) and she's having a milkshake (or milky drink.) I suddenly thought to myself, "I'm going to paint a milkshake tomorrow." As there’s little detail it came together quickly. As you can see from the first photo I painted over something else I started and gave up on. It was a rural Italian scene and I knew my heart wasn't in it. I thought I'd finished this painting then I realised I'd forgotten a spoon should that strawberry drop through the squirty cream. I banged one on the canvas quickly, added a wee bit of shadow and it was done.


I can see this inoffensive painting hanging in your nursery at home. When the kids have grown up you could give this painting to the nanny before she leaves your employment. She could use it to get a fire roaring or line a hamster's cage. It's yours for £2222. I can post if off tomorrow morning after my appointment at The Chronic Flatulence Clinic.