Thanks For The New Knockers, Doctor Blockers

I am a fan of the wireless (or ‘radio’ as it’s called these days) and radio 4 is an invisible friend that chats away for hours. On a C60 cassette I’ve a documentary recorded from the radio about a private plastic surgeon’s office. It seems to veer off the script; though the topic was the daily running of one of the office the old interviewed receptionist was a rum character and spoke as much as the surgeon. After all she sat in the waiting room with the patients and with an open breezy chatty manner she got to know more about the psychology of the patents than anyone. Bored of sandwiches she baked her own meat and cheese pies and bring them into the office, smelling the place out nicely.

Previously the doctor had worked in a trauma unit at a hospital and there was a humanity about him as his voice broke as he lost kids on the operation table. At the end of the interview he told how he had reconstructed his receptionist’s face. Previously she’d looked hideous, upper jaw protruding so much her teeth were on permanent show and her bottom jaw receding so much she could not close her mouth for more than a few seconds at a time. He waived his fee for the operation but in thanks the lady took him a cheese and onion pie.

This documentary must have stuck in my mind I suppose and my muddled depraved mind somehow arrived at an idea to paint a woman thanking her doctor for her pumped-up boobs. I wasn’t sure what to call him, something rhyming with ‘knockers’. I remembered being frightened by a character called Block in one of the Famous Fives books…..Block….Blockers…it would have to do.

This painting has been glossed and placed in attic with many others. I go up there once a week to stop them from sticking to one another.

Some plastic surgery crumbs…

In ancient Rome a surgeon performed “scar removal”, especially those shameful ones on a man’s back. They suggested a man had turned his back in battle or had been whipped like a slave.

Later surgery was used to treat people messed up in duels and street fights. Also when people had syphilis their noses could start to shrivel up.

WWII heralded bold plastic surgery techniques that included rebuilding entire limbs and doing skin grafts on burn victims.

Boob jobs started to grow in popularity in the 1960s. Show girls would inject their breasts with liquid silicone, a substance initially used in Japan in World War One to plump out legs withered by polio.

90% of operations are carried out on women. The most common operations are:

Women : (1) Botox injections, (2) boob enhancement, (3) liposuction.

Men : (1) rhinoplasty (nose job), (2) eyelid surgery, (3) “man boob”/moob reduction.

About to put a painting on the wall…