I’ve been on a
few coach holidays and bumped into the Jed (Gerald) - an old man who wears a
smart blazer and trousers through the daytime. I called him Smokey as he was
the kind of man who got off the coach at every toilet stop with a cigarette and
golden lighter poised. I’ve met him three time so far and whenever the coach
stopped off somewhere nice for a couple of hours we’d stroll around together.
Oddly the
nattily-dressed gent was from a rough part of Manchester. His wife of 40+ years
had died and he said his “life was pretty much over” and he was just hanging
around until his life folded. I liked him and over evening meals we got to know
one another. Despite his wife being his life he said women were his weakness.
Though he said he wouldn’t marry again there was another possible contender for
his heart in later years. He socialised with a gang of likeable rogues but, away
from them, he’d met a morally-upstanding posh lass of younger years. He said
he’d only been to bed with his wife and was worried about bedroom acrobatics
with someone else. From one of the rogues he acquired an illegal
internet-sourced potion that might get his front tail wagging a bit. More out
of curiosity than an impending date the posh lass he tested it, injecting half
the potion and then settled down to watch some television. No effect except when
he looked at his cream curtains they seemed slightly purple and when he went to
fetch something out of the fridge that seemed purple. Later the basin and bath
were purple - anything white was imbued with a light purple haze. Later in bed
he said it seemed all the blood in his body swam tadpole-like toward an egg –
but the egg was his Cumberland sausage and the next morning the thing hadn’t surrendered.
The headache and slight grogginess made sure he didn’t use up the rest of the
potion.
I liked Jed and
wonder if he’s still alive. I can remember us sitting on a bench looking over
the river at Stratford and him saying mournfully, “I can’t have long left can
I? A man from my era who’s worked hard and smoked since I was 8 – I can’t have
long to go can I?” Some old people seem weirdly well-adjusted to such things
but he didn’t. The last time I rang his mobile phone number it was dead but I
just hope he isn’t and that I’ll see that well-dressed gentleman again.
So here is an odd
painting showing an injection being given. I hope I’ve got the nurses facial
expression right. I was in hospital for a few days once and the man in the bed
across the way had got drunk and climbed out of a bedroom window and fallen
through a conservatory. You could tell the Indian doctor who came round each
morning didn’t favour patients whose injuries were booze-related. He was a
nuisance, saying the floors were dirty and beds hard. I can remember he called
one of the nurses a “Toe-rag” and when she gave him an injection in his rump
she rammed that needle in hard. He went “Yaaaarr!” I
have tried to give the nurse in this painting a vengeful expression.
I took four goes
to paint this face…
Looking for
affirmations from Kylie (but I didn’t get it)…