I painted out the broad shapes in December 2011 and slowly added to it for 12 months. For months it was pretty much a woman in her pyjamas reading a book then in November I read an article ďTen Signs Its All OverĒ (at the bottom of this page.) This gave me an idea to add a bit of narrative to the painting. I placed a man in the background and decided this was the end of the coupleís relationship.
To paint him I just adorned a suit and took a photo of myself using a pen as a cigarette (I even found some braces in my sock pile.) The woman went from reading to keeping her back to the man, taking refuge in the book, ignoring his pleas.
I tend to watch the one film per painting, watching it again and again in the background. I watched Doc Hollywood featuring Michael J. Fox about six times. I also listened to his audio book about coping with Parkinsonís Disease. His quavering voice isnít just right but you canít beat his optimism.
10 Signs Its All Over
1. You want different things
When you talk about the future you canít agree on what you want. Perhaps one of you wants to settle down and have children but the other is keen to travel and put off the responsibilities of family life. If you canít agree over which direction youíd like the next few years together to take itís a serious indication that somethingís not right.
2. Youíve stopped being intimate
When you first got together you couldnít keep your hands off each other but lately the sex has waned. In isolation this isnít a reason to call things off, but itís important to understand the reasons behind your recent lack of chemistry in the bedroom. If itís down to stress, hectic schedules and tiredness, you should be able to talk things over and address the problem, but if either one of you is simply not attracted to the other person anymore, it signals a more immediate problem.
3. You constantly fight
In a good relationship the highs should outweigh the lows. A bit of bickering and the odd argument is perfectly healthy and actually encouraged as long as you learn to argue effectively by listening as well as talking. But if it seems that these days all you do is pick holes in one another and disagree, itís time to address why and consider moving on.
4. Things feel too one sided
If you feel like youíre the only one making an effort for the relationship to work itís time to confront your other half to find out why theyíre not pulling their weight. A relationship needs two people to make it work. If one of you isnít fully invested in the partnership, it is doomed to failure.
5. Youíre bored
After the honeymoon period, most relationships settle into some kind of comfortable routine, however you should never mistake boredom for comfort. If your partner no longer stimulates you in the way they used to or you canít remember the last time you actually had fun doing something together itís a sign of boredom. If youíve already tried shaking things up to resuscitate your relationship and are still left feeling underwhelmed itís time to admit defeat make the break.
6. Youíre rarely in touch
Back in the good old days there was a constant dialogue between you. Regular phone calls, texts back and forth, emails detailing what you had for lunch, Facebook messenger chats about your favourite music. Of late youíve started screening calls and setting your Instant Messanger setting to Ďinvisibleín . And when your other half does manage to get in touch youíre filled with a feeling of mild irritation rather than excitement. Time to admit it was fun while it lasted.
7. You just know
Human instinct is a powerful thing. However much you might want things to work and no matter how hard you try to push aside feelings of doubt and dismiss the notion that thereís something wrong, you just know in your gut that things arenít working out. Do the clever thing and give-in to your powers of self-preservation. Bring things to a proper close rather than clinging to something you know deep down just doesnít feel right.
8. You no longer feel respected
Respect is a massively important part of any relationship. Both parties should hold each other in high esteem for love to flourish. Physical or verbal abuse obviously signal a lack of respect but emotional abuse is trickier to spot. If your partner constantly puts you down in front of others, is dismissive of your opinions and generally does not seem to value you as a friend let alone as a lover, itís game over for sure.
9. Youíre starting to hate the things you liked about them
Those dimples you once called adorable have suddenly become plain ugly. You used to laugh at their jokes but now you just find their quips and anecdotes rub you up the wrong way and youíre not sure why. Sadly being continually and irrationally irritated by your partner is a sure fire sign that the relationship is headed for meltdown.
10. You have more fun when youíre apart
While itís important for every couple to spend quality time apart, if you find yourself increasingly craving alone time or wanting to go out with friends just to avoid spending time together as a couple, you need to address just whatís fuelling these aversion tactics. Spending time together as a couple should lift your spirits and cement the bond between you - not bring you down. Itís a clear signal that somethingís wrong.