Unfussy Pussy

Our neighbour’s cat called Pipi comes in most days for some strokes and Red Leicester cheese. Sometimes she climbs out of my neighbours back bedroom window, walks along a low-level roof and jumps in through my window. I’ve even been sat on the toilet and seen her at the window meowing. We don’t know where she came from. She was living outside for a few days and I asked someone to scan her. The microchip said she lived 40 miles away in Crewe. The contact phone number didn’t work and when someone visited the address the trial went cold. My neighbour couldn’t see her out in the rain any longer and adopted her.

She seems to spend lots of her life looking up begging for cheese and one day I thought I’d paint a cat using a palette knife. I found a painting by in the basement by Paul Cezane called Fruit And Jug, covered the canvas with white gesso and started drawing out a cat looking up. The painting went well and was done over about three sittings. I put on a Rumpole Of The Bailey audio book called Rumpole and the Penge Bungalow Murders and part of my mind went off into an imaginary world while I painted.

The canvas has gained much weight with all that paint smeared on it. These larger canvases are a nuisance though - you have to be on your feet and keep stepping back to observe the unfolding mess. I have a steadier hang when sitting down. When some paint splattered onto the frame I just painted it black. Anyway, here it is nearly all onde with knife. I was forced to use a brush to do the eyes and mouth but not much else. I was going to paint some food in one of the dishes but thought "this is an unfussy pussy which has eaten everything" and refrained.

This painting can be on your for £20,864. Normally it would be £500 but I typed out a text to a neighbour about his innocent daughter: "Her dimples are cute." Unfortunately predictive text turned this into "Here nipples are cute." Within ten minutes he had come round and smashed my face in so badly I had to pay a plastic surgeon to £20,000 to repair it. I can post if off tomorrow after my therapy session for my addiction to bubble wrap.