I found an old mirror that was rotting away. Some woodworm had made a meal out of part of the frame rendering it worthy of the bin. I thought I'd make use of it though and, loathing looking at myself, decided I paint over it. I blasted it with white gesso primer and felt bubbling creativity. That evening I watched Coronation Street and the Goth girl Nina punched a lad who was belittling her friend. These Goths seem to apply white foundation don't they (to appear ghostly?) and I thought to myself I'm going to paint a ghost. Here is the result.
I did it in a couple of sittings, smearing on thick paint and then whacking balls around the snooker table while waiting for it to dry. A mirror being fancy glass it was quite heavy to start with and it's heavier now. I lay it on my bed so the paint didn't run and Pipi the cat strolled across it. I tried to make something of the paw prints she left but it went wrong. The painting generally went right though and it's yours for £8222. I'm afraid I'm having to charge a lot for it as I need the money badly. A female friend wanted her dog walking so I texted her on my phone, typing "I'll be round for six tomorrow as usual." Predictive text changed his to "I'll be round for sex tomorrow as usual." Her husband smashed my face in so badly that I had to pay a surgeon £8000 to fix my broken jaw.